My name is Nima Nassiri. On the evening of December 7th, 2013 I had fight with my wife. My reckless and evil actions inadvertantly led to her tragic death. Never in a million years did I think my actions would’ve resulted in a death, but it did. Now I sit in a prison cell reflecting on my colossal betrayal for over the past 12 years. It grieves my soul day and night.
How did I get here? How did I go from working a job and paying bills to a prison cell, with blood on my hands? How did I go from never wishing death upon anybody, to killing this precious woman, daughter, sister, friend, and wife? Some say that it was simply misfortune, that it could happen to anybody. Others say it was ordained by God. It was none of those. I got here because I lacked wisdom and depth of soul. I got here by sheer ignorance. I got here because I thought violence was the appropriate response to conflict. I allowed myself to fall into a blind rage for no other reason than frustration, deep seeded frustration.
My frustration didn’t simply manifest on December 7th, 2013. My frustration had been brewing all throughout my life, to its boiling point on December 7th, 2013. My frustration resulted from years of neglecting my psychological posture, my mental well-being, as well neglecting to take an ethical inventory of myself. In my lack of personal responsibility I replicated the barbarism that I was exposed to.
Since childhood I was exposed to all kinds of horrible barbaric evil violence, yet no one died. So you could only imagine that in my ignorance I thought my actions would’ve never led to a death, but it did. In my ignorance I personified the same betrayals that once laid siege agaisnt me. I’m not saying that I didn’t have good relationships. I did, but I allowed the betrayals to infect my soul like a deadly disease. I was ignorant.
Ignorance is a dark place to be in. Ignorance will fool someone into thinking that the problem is always with someone else, never themselves. Ignorance will make one deflect from their own problems by blaming others. Ignorance will always play the blame game. Ignorance will always make one believe that their evil actions and mistakes were a result of an external factor, rather than an internal conflict. Ignorance doesn’t believe in asking for help and support. Ignorance doesn’t believe in self-improvement, education, mental health, as well as the welfare of others. Ignorance doesn’t believe in continually maturing. Ignorance is intrinsically blind, unreflective, unredemptive, stagnant, and discounts the strengths of relationships while magnifying or exaggerating the flaws. Ignorance is a dark place to be in.
In dark times it’s always important to reflect on those people who have been nothing but kind and loving. In dark times, it’s always important to seek those individuals who have nothing but goodness to share with you, who are nothing but supportive and encouraging. It’s never right to feed into those dark times, to wallow in pity or seethe in hate. Why? Because, your response to dark times will determine whether you find true harmony in this world, or find yourself destroyed, and in prison like me.
I created DomesticHealing to be a light in dark times, to be a reminder of how to treat one another, how precious and fragile life is, and how important it is to change for the better. I created this blog for you, the one searching for a lasting solution, a resolution, an avenue that leads to healing instead of hell.
I created this blog to assist people in preventing domestic violence, by empowering this community with tools, stories, tips, and resources to deescalate violence in its tracks, while simultaneously building and strengthening healthy relationships.
Thank you for going on this journey with me. My hope is that we can learn from one another, and in so, save lives.
